I start off with congratulating the organizers of last night’s bash, kudos y’all. Or should I say tonight’s bash? You see am writing this from a friend’s laptop while seated on one of those plastic chairs that are only too common in most hostels. It is 2.30 a.m., the night of the bash, and some comrades are still having fun and partying at the bus-park. But I wouldn’t be caught dead leaving any party at any time after 4.00 a.m. Only losers stay at parties that long. There’s a reason for this. First, either they came to the party alone and all their socializing skills failed them during the party, therefore, they have nothing to go to their rooms early to. They usually end up staying the whole party, hoping to get lucky somehow, until the deejay chases everyone away with a Cha Kutumaini Sina kind of track. The other reason is when you bring your chic to the party and she gets chips fungwad by a more handsome, more intelligent, and better socially adept dude than you. Bad things happen to good people too, so in such a case just pray that you will get another one where you got the first one. But alas, there’s no cure for bad luck! So if that’s what you think you are suffering from, then get yourself to the student counselor’s office ASAP. You might be in need of some psychological fortification against more future disappointments.

Moving away from the losers and back to the actual party, according to one of my friend whose opinion I sought, the bash was wildly successful. With exams near and everything that’s happening around campus, there was the right mood for a party, so that helped in making the party rock. The emcee, deejays and different performers also added to the variety that was enjoyed by those present. I danced to some old, nostalgic tunes I haven’t heard in a long time including some local songs I have always refused to save in my laptop. It turns out that the same song can sound rather different in a bash than at your room. What impressed me is that Kimathi got talent, and someone needs to develop it and market it. Some of the hip-hop songs sung by fellow comrades are really dope. Like goddamn, these guys can really rap. There was even a gospel track that made me think back to Sunday school days in a really fond way. As always the major letdown was that the chics did not show up in huge numbers as needed. However, the same friend of mine was quite satisfied with the female turn out. Anyway, low female attendance was the major flaw that most of those who were hoping to get lucky will have a hard time overlooking. In future someone should put incentives in place to encourage more comrades of the feminine gender to make an appearance in such events.

It is really difficult to be completely lucky in a campus with a gender ratio such as ours; even much less so when the ladies choose not to attend most of the fun events. I do not think that the ladies realize the inherent advantage of attending a campus bash, or any party at all where there are men. Over the centuries, a substantial fraction of women’s self-esteem has been tied to how attractive they are to the male gender. That hasn’t changed much in the 21st century despite what the feminists may say. The point is, at most of these parties the kind of attention and naked desire which the mere presence of a lady evokes in most males has the potential to boost a lady’s self-esteem in no small way. We all know the benefits of a high self-esteem. What’s even better is that a lady doesn’t even have to sacrifice her dignity or moral principles to this end. It is simply a matter of availing herself and choosing whether to have fun while she is being admired or to simply stand in a corner and be admired; because the simple fact is that she will be admired. Perhaps not by everyone, but trust me there will be more glances cast her way than she has probably ever received in  one day, unless of course she is a runway model or something like that.

Ladies and their prudish behavior aside, Fred Omondi’s performance kind of made up for their scarcity. For those few minutes he was on stage, everyone momentarily sobered up enough to listen, each ready to laugh. Although he started off with some overly cliché racial jokes which did not sit well with a majority of the audience, he soon found his groove back. I laughed my heart off quite a number of times. Ironically, with a simple yet crafty M-Pesa withdrawal joke, he managed to get the crowd to laugh at the same kind of jokes they had initially frowned upon. That goes to show the kind of performer he is, one who is confidently established in his art. The major flop was his repeating a joke I had read on Facebook two days earlier, am sure others saw it too. At this digital age, telling a joke once is telling it a million times because it will soon be all over social media. Or did he assume because we are deep within Nyeri County no one could have heard that one before? Creativity in the performing arts is much called for in this day and age; Fred should realize that if he wishes to retain his fans. I don’t know a single person who likes hearing the same joke twice. All in all, he had most of us in stitches more than once. So he accomplished what he was hired to do, that is, make us laugh. To those who missed his performance am really sorry for you. But I won’t repeat anything he said, so that next time you can get your bum to where the party is at and hear for yourself. In any case, life is short, party a little at least.

Some friends of mine would crucify me for suggesting that anyone party a little. They subscribe to a different philosophy: Party often and party hard! I guess that is in line with Khalifa’s hit song, Work Hard Play Hard. What we do in one semester qualifies as hard work, unless you are taking computer packages alone. After a week of classes, assignments and cats, there’s sometimes a need to let off some steam. That’s all the excuse you should ever need to go out and have fun. But we have fun differently. For example, I noticed some CU or CA members reading the bible outside the mess while the bash was going on. Bible study at midnight, outside in the cold darkness? They even went further to preach to and convince some revelers to accept Christ as their Lord and savior. God bless you all, and may he bless those souls you prayed for to hold on to that salvation. I wonder if God forgives an ongoing sin. I mean, if you are prayed for to get saved while you’re drunk, do you simultaneously get saved and backslide immediately after you say “Amen.”? You know like the way some viruses restores a file whenever you delete it, or keep opening a popup window no matter how many times you click Cancel or Ok?

Finally: Dear Lord, our God, please forgive us our sins and keep us from ‘brokeness’ and hangovers. Protect us from punk a** n****s and punk a** b****es too. Be with us in our triumphs and our defeats, and forever guide us to be ourselves without offending you too much so. In Jesus name may we all say….

And Good Luck in your exams.


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