WHAT WOMEN WANT

The last two millennia since humans started walking the face of the earth have been characterized by one failure in human relations: The failure of men to understand women or have any clue as to what they want. However, recent research has shown promise of finally providing an answer to this age old question. According to this research, women want three things. One of those things is that their wants should not be revealed so that they can have the freedom to change them from time to time. Apart from this one constant need, the other feminine needs mutate in a manner similar to the AIDS virus. It is little wonder that both have not been conquered even by the brightest scientific minds.
At this point, an apology goes out to all those who sincerely thought that this article could offer any worthy insight into what women want. Go back and unclick whichever link it is that brought you here. Seriously, if anyone has that kind of information, they would never have the time to sit down and write. Think about it. This is equivalent to owning both the Philosopher’s Stone and the Elixir of Life and then organizing seminars to teach people how to stay young. People who teach what women want are people who either don’t know or just don’t understand what it takes to get and keep a woman. At the root of all feminine needs lies a deep desire to be loved totally, unconditionally and eternally. How can you teach someone how to love?
But love, much like the Biblical faith, is dead without actions. This is a simple fact which any woman can confirm. Women will tell you that they don’t want to just know they are loved, they need to feel loved. There is no way to make her feel loved without doing things which communicate your love. Note that the emphasis is on what you do as opposed to what you say. That does not mean that words are not important. On the contrary, many men have been dumped because they never say the three magic words. Unfortunately for the male species, saying them is no guarantee that sooner or later she won’t bounce for some other incomprehensible reason as ‘not feeling it’. I do not blame the ladies though. Men have this maddening habit of generalizing solutions, that’s why they keep looking for a one-size-fits-all approach for dealing with women. Any fool can testify that no such thing exists.
When it comes to women, the best advice anyone will ever give you is to take each woman as a unique individual. Pay attention to what comes out of that most important hole, you know, the mouth! I know there are men who had already started thinking of another hole on the opposite end of the body. These are the men who will never know the pleasures that may be gotten from either hole. At least not without considerable help from their mothers and/or intervention by their friends, pastors, etc. The only way to know what a certain woman likes is to listen and observe. Listen to her so she can tell you what she likes and what her dreams and desires are; observe when she engages in different activities so you can see what she truly enjoys. These are the things she really wants in life. But who will give them to her when no man ever takes time to find out? The basic goal of any person is to enjoy their existence, and simultaneously advancing their life towards meaningful goals and achievements. We all stick with people who give or enable us to achieve both. Have you learnt anything yet, brothers?
I remember a time when my younger brother had decided to quit eating sausages because he heard somewhere that they had carcinogens. Then he quit Royco saying the chemicals were bad for his health. I finally asked him if he preferred living to be a hundred and one eating steamed traditional herbs rather than live to be any age, say a few years shy of seventy, but get to eat anything he likes – hamburgers, pizza, fries-with-that, etc. I pointed out that it is so easy to get caught up trying to squeeze every little, extra second into the quantity of our life until we forget that quality is infinitely more important. We all want to take memories of indulgence to our grave, of having being totally and unguardedly happy without any inhibitions. These are the stories we tell wistfully on our deathbeds whenever the reaper allows time for reminiscing. Having been brought up with strict morals and a specific code of conduct, there are many women who have never been convinced by anything or anyone to let go and permit themselves to experience such moments. If you can be the guy to do it, boy have you got your nest egg made! This is what has build and sustained the bad boy hype all these years.
In conclusion, thank you for reading this far even after I told you that it was futile. You must either be extremely desperate or a total loser. So I won’t bother to apologize again for wasting your time, I doubt you had anything better to do anyway. Although there is one bit of insight offered here which could improve your chances with the ladies, the fact that you read this far down makes me worry that you might have missed it altogether. However, if you were smart enough to pinpoint it, congratulations. Go out and put it to work. There are no guarantees that it will work all the time. When it fails, please don’t wonder out loud why it did not work despite some expert saying it would. If you do, be prepared for that piercing, feminine retort, “Why don’t you go date the expert?” I hope that my name never comes up in any conversations between you and your lady. As much as I believe that deep down you are a great guy, I don’t want you being directed to come date me. I don’t bend that way! Why else would I be here trying to figure out what the hell women want before they give up the damn cookie?

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