The Ugandan parliament decided to take their country a hundred and one years back to the past, and their president gave them his blessings by assenting the now infamous anti-gay bill. First off, all Africans should be thanking Museveni for standing up for what he and his fellow countrymen believe in. Notwithstanding the justification of the seemingly rash move, African leaders should stop doing things in fear of repercussions from the West. Besides, if anyone was to argue on the grounds of a free and fair society, then Museveni is certainly justified. That is the essence of democracy, if the majority are for it then everyone is for it. Basically, from this democratic point of view, this implies that even the gays agree to the bill. What a bitter irony!

Anyway, I do not pity Ugandan homosexuals for the long sentence. A lot of people who are not against the new laws have already pointed out the major flaw in the anti-gay bill. How do you punish homosexuals by sending them to prison, the haven for gays? Surely, Mr. Museveni can be guaranteed that those will be fourteen years of pure delight for the convicts. To be honest, most of them will be enviable to many Africans. The major challenges of the continent remain food, clean water, shelter, etc. In prison these are provided. In short, those sausage loving dudes will have free access to basic needs unlike many citizens and on top of that get to play with each other’s babymakers. Basic needs and unlimited sex? Not a bad deal in exchange for freedom really, some people would give an arm for that much.

The gays can keep looking to the west and hope someone will answer Museveni’s question. Is homosexual genetically caused? Someone has already found a correlation between genes and homosexuality. Nevertheless, a correlation does not mean causality. Proving that genes make someone to be homosexual will definitely take a long time. In the meantime, a lot of gays will be going to prison for their ‘unnatural’ desires and their shameless indulgence in the same if Museveni maintains his stance. Knowing Uganda’s history of extremity and Museveni’s own hardheadedness, you can almost be certain that he will not budge. Gay sympathizers can demonstrate all they want, the US can withdraw all their funding and aid, Ugandan gays will still go to prison.

The tenacity and diligence of whoever drafted the bill is commendable; they made sure to include a provision to require the extradition of Ugandans who try to practice homosexuality in more liberal countries. The Ugandan lawmakers are hellbent on forcing all Ugandan anal destroyers back into their ‘natural’ sheaths. Apparently, the guys in parliament cannot understand why anyone in their right mind would prefer to quit the pleasures of the more supple, feminine front entrance and use the dirty, unkempt back entrance of a fellow sword bearer for sexual pleasure. Well, even scientists are boggled at finding what causes one to be gay which is why Museveni was so emboldened to sign the bill.

You can expect more African countries to follow suit in a bid to prevent an inflow of gays from Uganda. Kenyan lawmakers have one in the pipeline already. There will be even much less pressure from the West in Kenya’s case because our president already sold out to the Chinese. After how those supremacists tried to bully him during the early days of his ICC case, he might hurriedly sign the bill when it comes just to annoy some Tom, Dick and Harry in Europe and/or America. All in all, Africans should hold on to a shred of their morals and inherent dignity; Museveni has emerged as the leader in that course. One day he shall be remembered, for better or for worse, as the one who had the galls to stand up for African morality and his Christian beliefs.


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